Dire News


Touch of Reality

by on May.22, 2013, under Consumer, Family, Kids, Recreation, Toys

Advertising has accustomed us to disappointment. The picture doesn't always reflect reality. fastfoodreal   Although the optimists among us hope otherwise, we know that the picture on the box is a "serving suggestion.


When it's a manufactured product, you might expect a photograph of the actual item, possibly even shown in use. insta-pool23But like a Whopper, the actual product might not resemble the picture. pool-actual At least the people are real. pool-touchmom As Heisenberg taught us, the more precisely we can identify the subject, the less certain we are of its location. pool-badtouch It looks like the boys are having a good time. But we're not going to be fooled by the picture on the box and run out and buy one of these. Elmo McQueen
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Close To The Breast

by on Nov.08, 2012, under Consumer, Culture, Education, Family, Games, Health, Kids, Nature, Parenting, Recreation, Toys

We've seen all kinds of dolls. There are dolls for adults, dolls you can shave, talking dolls, even dolls that walk. We have lifelike dolls, dolls with hair that grows, dolls whose eyes open and close, even pregnant dolls. There are Little Willy, the doll with a realistic "willy" that actually sprays water, and anatomically correct dolls. Creepy dolls are often the stuff of nightmares. There are a lot of those. Dolls that can be fed by bottle have been around for decades. But what about girls who want the full baby-feeding experience? The Breast Milk Baby is the first breastfeeding doll. It makes suckling sounds triggered by sensors sewn into the accompanying halter top at the nipples of the wearer. When the doll's mouth makes contact, it sets off the suckling sound. The doll also burps and cries. At a price of $ 89, Savannah, Tony, Cameron, Jessica, Lilyang, and Jeremiah are expensive and retailers have been reluctant to stock the dolls due to their controversial nature. The doll is made by Berjuan Toys, a family-owned, 40-year-old doll maker in Spain
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Canons of Law

by on Sep.29, 2012, under Crime, Culture, History, Recreation, Toys, Weapons

Gun ownership is strongly regulated in many parts of the world, particularly in Europe, Canada, and the United States. The United States Constitution guarantees the right to own firearms, but individual states and the Federal Government set limits. Some people justify gun ownership in the U.S. as a hedge against a totalitarian government, the historic legacy of hunting, and as a safe, fun hobby.

It is legal to own a Colt AR-15A3 in most parts of the U.S. A semi-automatic AK-47 is ok too.

In Britain, the standards are more severe.

The West Midland Police were on a "routine operation" when the noticed the tiny replica cannon.

The cannon, about a foot long, has a bronze barrel, wood carriage, with bronze wheels. Because you can load it with gunpowder, and it has a hole for a fuse, it is technically a firearm under current statutes. It is considered a "working weapon".

Police said they had to seize and destroy it for safety reasons. A spokesman said, "Police officers and specially trained firearms officers are working 24/7 to remove more obvious firearms from the streets of the West Midlands and we remain committed to further reducing serious violent crime."

West Midlands Police keeping the streets safe

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Fantastic Voyage

by on Sep.24, 2012, under Family, Kids, Nature, Parenting, Technology, Toys

Ron Fugelseth, a Santa Cruz, CA video producer, writes: "On Aug 24th 2012 we sent my son's favorite train "Stanley" to space in a weather balloon with a HD camera and an old cell phone for GPS. He was recovered 27 miles away in a corn field and we got some great footage of the trip. This video documents the journey from liftoff to landing. My 4 year old and Stanley are inseparable like Calvin and Hobbes. He's been attached to him since he was two, and they play, sleep and do everything together. I animated Stanley's face with After Effects and Photoshop to bring him to life how I imagine my son sees him." The love between a train and his boy didn't develop overnight. Fugelseth recounts: "Here's the original video I made of my son and Stanley when he was 2 years old, documenting the beginning of their friendship. I shot it over 5 months."
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Legocy of Pain

by on Sep.23, 2012, under Consumer, Education, Family, Games, Health, Kids, Parenting, Recreation, Toys, Weapons

As toy sales decline, sale of Legos is still increasing. Originally available in sets of colorful interlocking blocks, there are all kinds of pieces available, from wheels and axles to skeletons, dragon fire and weapons. In Michael Chabon's recent book, Manhood for Amateurs: The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father, and Son, he rails against “the authoritarian nature of the new Lego” and its “provided solution.” The rigid instructions provided in the sets discourage the construction of random creations that stimulate the imagination.

We believe there's an even more compelling problem

It used to be that you could live your entire ten-year life without a single Lego misfortune.

Since the proliferation of so many specialized parts, there have been more Lego-related mishaps.

A fourth grader from New York was nearly suspended for bringing a replica firearm to school.

Nine-year-old Patrick Timoney was at South Beach School PS52 playing Legos with his friends during lunch period when the principal brought him into her office. She told him that the gun violated the school's no tolerance for toy guns policy and recommended suspension. Fortunately, principal Evelyn Matroianni was able to retrieve the weapon and disarm Patrick without any further injury.

Isaak Lasson's Lego set was incomplete, with a piece missing for years. He didn't really think about it, because he had other problems. At six years old, Isaak had experienced awful sinus problems since he was three. "I felt so bad," said Craig Lasson, Issak's father. "He was sleeping with his mouth open, trying to breathe."

Numerous visits to the doctor over the next three years failed to lead to a solution. But finally, an observant doctor noticed something strange: Isaak seemed to have a foreign body up his nose. The doctor asked him what it might be.

"I put some spaghetti up there, but that was a long time ago," Isaak told the doctor.

What they found was a ball of fungus with a foreign body inside. It turned out to be a Lego tire.

"I asked him, ‘Dude, how did that even get in there?'" Lasson said. "We think he bent it in half — it's pretty flexible — and that it opened up once it got into his sinuses."

Lasson said since the doctor appointment a week and a half ago, Isaak's appetite has improved, he has more energy and is sleeping soundly.

And Isaak's Lego set is complete once again.

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Feeding the Monster

by on Sep.22, 2012, under Consumer, Family, Games, Kids, Parenting, Recreation, Toys

Six-year-old Will Smith isn't dying from a terminal disease. He doesn't have a conjoined twin growing inside of him, a deformed limb, or any perforations or punctures that don't belong there. He doesn't drink, smoke, or womanize. We promise there will be no shocking pictures at the end of this posting. If he has one fault, it's that he's an avid fan of the online game Tiny Monsters, which he plays on his grandfather's iPad. He was doing pretty well, too. His goal was to reach the Dark Monster, which he came close to achieving before he ran into an obstacle. Will had gained some of his achievements by purchasing virtual food and coins costing up to £70 each, charged to his grandfather's credit card. His spending spree was only discovered after his grandmother tried to use the credit card at Tesco, where it was declined. Grandfather Barry Slatter said, "I must have synced my credit card up with the App Store and Will has just been pressing buttons buying baskets of food and coins for his monsters. I can’t believe how easy it is for kids to buy things. Will’s only six." Mr Slatter said he explained the situation to Apple who agreed to a refund. Will’s mother Nicola, 32, said, "Will was really upset; he was about to reach Level 26 and fight the Dark Monster." And it only cost £2,000.
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Monster Truck Pull

by on Sep.15, 2012, under Health, Kids, Parenting, Recreation, Toys

When Easton Jarrett came home from his first day at school in first grade, he had his first baby tooth ready to come out. If he could read at first grade level and has kept up with this blog, he would have seen a variety of methods to take out a tooth. But Easton had an idea of his own. He thought of his radio controlled mini monster truck. He had his parents tie dental floss around the loose tooth and then around the back of the monster truck. Spoiler alert: Skip down to the video if you want to see it without knowing how it ends. Easton accelerates the RC truck, and it rolls away, pulling his tooth behind. "It's kind of bleeding." said Easton as he recovered his tooth. We recommend he keep his batteries charged. There are still a few laps to go.
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A Visit With Gamma

by on May.28, 2012, under Culture, Education, Family, Health, Kids, Toys, War and Terrorism, Weapons

We live in turbulent times, and some parents won't hesitate to take every step possible to keep their kids safe.

You've probably already accounted for the common threats and have your kids packing gas masks, but are they prepared for the nuclear threat?

Geiger counters for kids were just toys, and didn't offer any serious protection.

And your kids wouldn't want to wear them because they're not as fashionable as an iPod. Radiation level readings were very subjective so your kids wouldn't know whether run home or duck and cover.

If you really hate your kids you can give them a sense of security without a big investment. In the event of a real nuclear disaster they won't be around to get their revenge anyway.

Bell Products "Atomic Geiger Counter"

Now you can keep your kids safe and fashionable! With the new Personal Radiation Monitoring System, called Peramos, was designed for children and is simple to use. The LED lights on the counter will give quick alerts: green for normal, yellow for attention, orange for warning, and red for danger. The alert sounds for each stage are different too, meaning you can leave the counter to one side while the kids play, knowing that if gamma radiation levels change drastically they will hear it straightaway. With full battery power it can also be used continuously for around 18 hours. Some final advice to help save lives in case of nuclear attack: A thick lead shield between your child and the radiation will help to minimize side effects. Note: Children should not be exposed to lead. Don't get your emergency supplies at the Target store at Broadway and Main. The Peramos measures radiation ranging from 0.05-9.99 microsieverts, requires 2 AAA batteries, and comes with instructions in Japanese. Under $ 400.  
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